Friday, July 1, 2011

Is this thing on?

Wow almost one year exactly since my last post. It has been quite a year..lots of soul searching and finding myself I guess. I have had a year of being very frustrated with my camera and feeling like I couldn't find the words I was looking for to write which resulted in locking both the camera and the blog in a closet for the past year. Not literally, I have taken photos of my kids but none of them were meeting my approval. You are your hardest critic, I guess. It was very frustrating not feeling capable of expressing myself creatively at all.

I also found out I have one of the thyroid issues..I can't keep them straight which is which. When I remember to take my medication everything is hair doesn't fall out, I am happy, I lose weight, I have energy...I really need to be better about taking that medication! I am so glad I went to the Dr's and got it tested. I really thought I was losing my mind. I have never felt depressed before and it really sucked. I know, who really goes around enjoying depression. Man though it sucked. I was convinced it was my thyroid after talking to a friend... at first my Dr just wanted to write me an Rx for some anti-depressants and call me an angry housewife. Glad I fought for that test!

Then I was excommunicated from my sorority friends. No it isn't a real sorority but it very well could be. I'm not even sure really what this point I don't even care anymore honestly. At the time it was all happening I wasn't really sure of how I was feeling..I went through a lot of emotions..anger..hurt..resentment...sad...relief. I always ended up feeling relieved. Now that it has been some time I can say 100% that it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I took the experience and everything I learned from it to grow and change and figure out who it is that I want to be.

I guess it was a year of a lot of falling down but every time I picked myself back up and moved forward.

I have missed using the blog as an outlet and journal since I am a terrible scrapbooker and baby book filler-inner. I hope to be around more..if anyone even still remembers this exists and if no one does that is ok because I am perfectly happy talking to myself like I do all day every day.

And here are the kids! Yes they always love each other that much and are always that happy..always. No fighting or whining in our least not in my imaginary world I choose to visit..often.

Well, that's all for now.


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